18. Australian

Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Sleepy Hollow, Marvel, Teen Wolf (mostly Dylan O'Brien's face tbh), and a queue full of overly attractive people.

Welcome

 

unironically-ironic:

wendygirlyoumoveme:

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT BUY HERITAGE BRAND CHEESE SINGLES LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HORRIFIC MORNING
TODAY I DECIDED I WANTED SOME GRILLED CHEESE SO I PULLED OUT OF THE FRIDGE THIS PACKET OF SINGLES THAT MY MOM BOUGHT AT SOME CHEAPO STORE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING SANDED WASTELANDS (AKA WINCO) 
I TOOK THESE THINGS OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND IMMEDIATELY THEY WOULDN’T FUCKING OPEN.  YOU KNOW THAT SMOOTH SLIDE YOU GET WHEN YOU OPEN UP A KRAFT SINGLE?  FUCKING NONE OF THAT.  THEY WRAPPING WAS LITERALLY PART OF THE CHEESE AND IT HAD BEEN TORN TO SHREDS BY THE TIME IT LANDED ON MY SANDWICH.
THAT WAS THE SECOND RED FLAG.  THE FIRST WAS THAT IT SAID “IMITATION PASTEURIZED PROCESS CHEESE FOOD" ON THE FRONT. THEY THROW IMITATION OUT THERE IN FRONT LIKE A FUCKING DISCLAIMER, BUT THEY ADD “FOOD” JUST TO REASSURE YOU THAT YEAH, THIS SHOULD BE EDIBLE.
THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE SO SLIMY TO THE TOUCH I WOULD THINK THAT A FUCKING SLUG EJACULATED ON THEM IF I DIDN’T KNOW BETTER.  ACTUALLY, THAT’S NOT VERY FAR-FETCHED GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCE.
I SMELLED THESE PIECES OF SHIT AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA I INSTANTLY REGRETTED BECAUSE THE FRAGRANCE THAT ASSAULTED MY NOSTRILS WAS THAT OF PLASTIC.  THE KIND MY DINOSAUR ACTION FIGURES WERE MADE OF AS A KID.  I WAS IMMEDIATELY TAKEN TO MY CHILDHOOD, A BETTER PLACE WHERE MY SANDWICHES DIDN’T LOOK LIKE SATAN SPAWN AFTER I WAS DONE COOKING THEM.
AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT I PUT CHEESE’S MENTALLY UNSTABLE STEP-COUSIN ON THE BREAD AND GRILLED THAT SHIT IN A BUBBLING PAN OF BUTTER, HOPING TO CHRIST THAT I WOULD GET SOME DECENT ABSTINENCE IN ME WITHOUT PROJECTILE VOMITING.  I WAS WRONG.  I WAS SO WRONG.
I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THIS, BUT CHEESE TYPICALLY MELTS WHEN YOU PUT IT ON BREAD AND IN A FUCKING PAN WITH THE HEAT TURNED UP.  WHEN MINE DID NOT AFTER THE BREAD WAS NEAR BURNED TO A CRISP, I DECIDED TO BREAK THE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF CHEESE GRILLING AND PUT MY SANDWICH IN THE MICROWAVE.
AFTER MINUTES IN THE MICROWAVE IT WAS NOT MELTED BUT INSTEAD RESEMBLED A PAIR OF CAKEY COUCH CUSHIONS THAT SOMEONE HAD PUT THEIR DICK INSIDE AND FUCKED SO HARD THEY NEEDED A DENTIST TO GET THE STUFFING OUT OF THEIR ESOPHAGUS.  THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WAS THAT I WOULD PROBABLY BEEN MUCH MORE EXCITED TO EAT THE STUFFING.
DON’T BUY THESE ASSHOLES AND THEIR FAKE, CHEESY, DISGUSTING LIES.

Thanks

unironically-ironic:

wendygirlyoumoveme:

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT BUY HERITAGE BRAND CHEESE SINGLES LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HORRIFIC MORNING

TODAY I DECIDED I WANTED SOME GRILLED CHEESE SO I PULLED OUT OF THE FRIDGE THIS PACKET OF SINGLES THAT MY MOM BOUGHT AT SOME CHEAPO STORE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING SANDED WASTELANDS (AKA WINCO) 

I TOOK THESE THINGS OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND IMMEDIATELY THEY WOULDN’T FUCKING OPEN.  YOU KNOW THAT SMOOTH SLIDE YOU GET WHEN YOU OPEN UP A KRAFT SINGLE?  FUCKING NONE OF THAT.  THEY WRAPPING WAS LITERALLY PART OF THE CHEESE AND IT HAD BEEN TORN TO SHREDS BY THE TIME IT LANDED ON MY SANDWICH.

THAT WAS THE SECOND RED FLAG.  THE FIRST WAS THAT IT SAID “IMITATION PASTEURIZED PROCESS CHEESE FOOD" ON THE FRONT. THEY THROW IMITATION OUT THERE IN FRONT LIKE A FUCKING DISCLAIMER, BUT THEY ADD “FOOD” JUST TO REASSURE YOU THAT YEAH, THIS SHOULD BE EDIBLE.

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE SO SLIMY TO THE TOUCH I WOULD THINK THAT A FUCKING SLUG EJACULATED ON THEM IF I DIDN’T KNOW BETTER.  ACTUALLY, THAT’S NOT VERY FAR-FETCHED GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCE.

I SMELLED THESE PIECES OF SHIT AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA I INSTANTLY REGRETTED BECAUSE THE FRAGRANCE THAT ASSAULTED MY NOSTRILS WAS THAT OF PLASTIC.  THE KIND MY DINOSAUR ACTION FIGURES WERE MADE OF AS A KID.  I WAS IMMEDIATELY TAKEN TO MY CHILDHOOD, A BETTER PLACE WHERE MY SANDWICHES DIDN’T LOOK LIKE SATAN SPAWN AFTER I WAS DONE COOKING THEM.

AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT I PUT CHEESE’S MENTALLY UNSTABLE STEP-COUSIN ON THE BREAD AND GRILLED THAT SHIT IN A BUBBLING PAN OF BUTTER, HOPING TO CHRIST THAT I WOULD GET SOME DECENT ABSTINENCE IN ME WITHOUT PROJECTILE VOMITING.  I WAS WRONG.  I WAS SO WRONG.

I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THIS, BUT CHEESE TYPICALLY MELTS WHEN YOU PUT IT ON BREAD AND IN A FUCKING PAN WITH THE HEAT TURNED UP.  WHEN MINE DID NOT AFTER THE BREAD WAS NEAR BURNED TO A CRISP, I DECIDED TO BREAK THE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF CHEESE GRILLING AND PUT MY SANDWICH IN THE MICROWAVE.

AFTER MINUTES IN THE MICROWAVE IT WAS NOT MELTED BUT INSTEAD RESEMBLED A PAIR OF CAKEY COUCH CUSHIONS THAT SOMEONE HAD PUT THEIR DICK INSIDE AND FUCKED SO HARD THEY NEEDED A DENTIST TO GET THE STUFFING OUT OF THEIR ESOPHAGUS.  THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WAS THAT I WOULD PROBABLY BEEN MUCH MORE EXCITED TO EAT THE STUFFING.

DON’T BUY THESE ASSHOLES AND THEIR FAKE, CHEESY, DISGUSTING LIES.

Thanks

(Source: wendycorduroy)

digimoron:

SO I WAS GETTING ON THE BUS TODAY AND TO GUIDE MYSELF I GRAB THE SEATS BUT I MISSED AND GRABBED THE TOP OF THIS LIL MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HEAD LIKE A CLAW MACHINE

HE CRIED

johnwatsonismyspiritanimal:

raptorific:

deonte-s:

i hate that i want you

DON’T BUY THESE. 
I made that mistake. I was once like you. I thought “these are probably like mozzarella sticks, except with melty american cheese instead of mozzarella and dorito dust instead of regular bread crumbs.”
I was wrong. So wrong. The cheese wasn’t melty, as shown. It wasn’t even cheese. It had the texture of play-doh and the flavor of despair. It tasted like someone had described cheese to someone who had never heard of it, and they gave it their best shot and just went “yikes, I’m really sorry, guy.”
While the cheese pictured in the image above is gooey and melty and looks delicious, the cheese in the actual product i like they took just the congealed film off the top of nacho cheese and, sun-baked it until it was completely dried out, and then jammed it into this triangular abomination. 
Which brings me to the dorito dust crusting. You would think that something so like a dorito would deliver the satisfaction of a dorito. You would be wrong. It tastes like someone used regular bread crumbs but sprayed the hell out of them with dorito-scented axe body spray, then dipped it in orange food coloring for the full effect. 
I bought this thinking “what’s the worst that can happen?” The worst that can happen, as it turns out, is that the people at 7-11 exchanged my money for four of these triangular monstrosities. Up until the second I bit down, I thought there was a chance for this to be good.
If you want to eat something roughly cheese-flavor with the consistency of a stale marshmallow rolled in the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of doritos you found in your backpack but can’t quite remember when you bought it, by all means, “load up” on the Doritos Loaded sorrow triangles. 
However, if you love yourself and think life is for the living, avoid these at all costs. They are anti-life, and left unchecked, will consume all that is good and happy in this and all possible universes. 

What were you expecting from stuffed Doritos sold from 7-11?

johnwatsonismyspiritanimal:

raptorific:

deonte-s:

i hate that i want you

DON’T BUY THESE. 

I made that mistake. I was once like you. I thought “these are probably like mozzarella sticks, except with melty american cheese instead of mozzarella and dorito dust instead of regular bread crumbs.”

I was wrong. So wrong. The cheese wasn’t melty, as shown. It wasn’t even cheese. It had the texture of play-doh and the flavor of despair. It tasted like someone had described cheese to someone who had never heard of it, and they gave it their best shot and just went “yikes, I’m really sorry, guy.”

While the cheese pictured in the image above is gooey and melty and looks delicious, the cheese in the actual product i like they took just the congealed film off the top of nacho cheese and, sun-baked it until it was completely dried out, and then jammed it into this triangular abomination. 

Which brings me to the dorito dust crusting. You would think that something so like a dorito would deliver the satisfaction of a dorito. You would be wrong. It tastes like someone used regular bread crumbs but sprayed the hell out of them with dorito-scented axe body spray, then dipped it in orange food coloring for the full effect. 

I bought this thinking “what’s the worst that can happen?” The worst that can happen, as it turns out, is that the people at 7-11 exchanged my money for four of these triangular monstrosities. Up until the second I bit down, I thought there was a chance for this to be good.

If you want to eat something roughly cheese-flavor with the consistency of a stale marshmallow rolled in the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of doritos you found in your backpack but can’t quite remember when you bought it, by all means, “load up” on the Doritos Loaded sorrow triangles. 

However, if you love yourself and think life is for the living, avoid these at all costs. They are anti-life, and left unchecked, will consume all that is good and happy in this and all possible universes. 

What were you expecting from stuffed Doritos sold from 7-11?

(Source: feelknower93)

sanuchan:

marauderettemarsnerd:

pocketpadfoot:

Does anyone else remember that gif with the phone in the microwave and then Voldemort’s soul rose up from it before it melted down

image

Congratulations on destroying a horcrux before he could use it.